The wondering eye

Afternoon all.
I'm struggling with myself at the moment. I'm a faithful person and have only cheated on a guy once (we weren't all that serious and he was rubbish in bed, PLUS he said he didn't believe in monogamy). But now I'm with someone (kind of because he actually lives in Trinidad now) and I love him but I'm starting to get the itch...REAL bad!
I'm an eternal single girl, guys never come along as often as I would like and I've been alone for years at a time, so I've dealt with the 'twitching fanny' before but this time I'm actually going crazy. I'm so horny I see grown penise's sitting next to me on the bus, walking down the road and flying through the air!!! (Hey maybe thats my cue to get into one of them mental home thingys).
Anywho yeah, so basically DB (my man) has gone back to live in Trinidad because he can't afford to live here anymore and seeing as he hasnt got his stay he can't claim benefits etc and he's not the gangster type to sell weed and have Operation Trident at my door so he has decided to go back home hence me being so horny and alone (boo hoo).
I don't know what to do really, I'm not rolling in £50 notes like Posh Spice so I can't go there and he can't find a job out there so he can't come here. I'm not a fan of cyber sex because that just gets me more frustrated so I've been looking at potential suitors (yes I feel like I'm betraying him already) but I don't know if I'd do anything with them mainly because I love DB and I would not be happy if he was looking at big batty girls to relieve himself so I shouldn't be thinking about it...but why can't I stop thinking about it.
Its not helped by the fact I'm reading a book which is mainly about 'a normal office girl getting her rocks off'. NOT HELPFUL in my time of need, but I've started it now and I must finish... shizzle I'll carry on later because menopause-cow is coming over

Later:
Work improved and menopause-cow was trying to be nice to me so she could buy one of my bounty bars. I should've injected Aresnic before I said yes but hey ho, I'll do it next time.
Had my friend (we'll call her Shorty) pick up theboy from afterschool club and I went traipsing all the way down to Brent Cross on the bus because they have a 75% sale on all books! all books??? LIES! Selected books, crap books, boring books! I came away with 2 books which I paid full price for. A wasted journey.
Ya know i just realised I was writing about me being hornier than a nympho but I can't be asked to go into all that again now. Its time for bed

Ciao