The one

He'd come up and talk to me as if we've been friends forever.
He'd be taller and darker and slimmer
He'd be confident but not arrogant, funny but not an idiot
He'd at least have a child already (so when I finally get knocked up it wouldnt be a shock)
He would drive (nothing flash, nor falling apart)
He'd be generous but not frivolous
He'll also be true to his word, ie I'll call you back/I'll pick you up at 7...and he does.
He'd be polite to others and only get his back up when he needs to.
He's be religious and spiritual, but not to the point where he rams it down your throat.
If he has beliefs, he's willing to share them but not force them on me.
He's not controlling, nor does he have stupid male double standards.
He's independent and doesnt need to be up my ass every day, but then doesnt like to be away from me too long, lol.
He'd have his own place. No sneaking around trying to avoid parents or siblings.
He'd be into books, current events, sports (only so he has stamina, lol), fashion and music.
Our conversations would be endless and if there are any silences, they would be comfortable.
He'd have drive and ambition.
He'd be proud of being black, but wouldnt ramble on about the hardships we face. He wouldnt act 'ghetto' either.
He'd hold my hand and kiss me in public, but not too much - dont want to make people sick now!
He'd be close to his family and I'd be accepted easily.
Ex-girlfriends?!? What are they? Hardly ever mentioned and if they are I'd not notice because he wouldnt focus on what they were or had.
He'd have sown his oats and had his fun, now he wants to settle down and I'll be the one.
Considerate, loyal and honest.
He'd be the one and he'd be mine

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!

Whats my problem?!?!

I'm at my friends sons 1st birthday party and I'm feeling a bit blue. I done a stupid thing in the early hours of this morning. I text DB a horrible message because I looked on his new Facebook page and saw loads of stuff I didnt like. Some of his statuses were quotes that seemed like they were related to me or us and our relationship (paranoia maybe???) and he's been 'liking' a lot of this girls photos. (this girl Julia, is one who was in the background willing to marry him so he could stay here)
So he stopped contact with her because of the way I felt but looks like now he is all over her page.
Anywho I sent him a moody text about him not returning my calls because he's busy sweeting Julia and how IM not going to bother with him anymore. But I also feel like a hypocrite because not 2 days ago was I having sex with someone else. So Im basically being a cow. I guess if Im having sex with other people then he can too, and Im not saying that he is unless she's been over there, but still. Oh I dont know, someone shoot me and get this over with.

Sex, Ikea and Argos

Isn't it amazing how you can go without something for so long and then out of the blue you get 2 helpings in the same month?!?! Dont know what I'm talking about? Well basically Im saying I had some nookie last night...AND IT WAS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!

The Sperm Donor (obviously my sons father) decided he wanted to come and spend the night and seeing as Ive been hard up for some passion (no pun intended) I said yes. I said yes because he's a guaranteed good peice of ass, lol.

I know what I'll be getting in the nookie department and with him there isnt anything to complain about *howling laughter, slapping knee*

See I have this analogy (or metaphor, theory, call it what you will). I compare my sexual partners to Ikea and Argos. Now I buy most of my furniture from Ikea because I think the products are strong and last ages and I know that they will last a long time. I dont buy any furniture from Argos because they are floppy and unsturdy and dont look as good in the house as they did in the catalogue. SO. I have a few ex boyfriends who are...hmm...not very adventurous or long lasting in the bedroom as I would like...ARGOS! And I have the sperm donor and one other ex who are my IKEA's. They get the job done, they have me singing in different languages and I always end up aching and smiling ear to ear! Comprendae? Good!
{BACK TO THE STORY}

So he came straight from work and when our son went to sleep, we... got...it...on! Now Im walking around like a cheshire cat!
It was excelfantagood!!!!! The kissing, the foreplay, the different positions, the talking! It doesnt mean anything, and I dont care if I dont speak to him until next month when he comes to take TheBoy, Im just glad I had something that made me sleep like a baby!

Goodnight y'all!

Used?!?!?

In all my sexual years, Ive not been used. And by used I mean, a guy turns on the charm and then once he's got his rocks off, doesnt call again and ignores you.
Thats happened to other girls, not me....until now!

So my internet friend who Ive been talking to since beginning of 2008 has gone awol on me. We 'bumped uglies' on Sunday morning and whenever I sign in on msn (where we talk pretty much 3 times a week) he signs out or doesnt answer when I start a convo.
Now Im not bothered about the sex (seriously no comment) but its that Ive lost a friend. We would talk all the time about loads of stuff. But I cant help thinking that Ive been talking to some weirdo for the past 2 years. Was he grooming me all that time??? Either way I thought he was cool.
Hopefully his 'weird man' medication will set in and he'll fix up and not piss other chicks about

Oh well.
Onto the next.

Cherry goes pop!

I'm no longer a virgin!
I have had sexual relations after nearly a year of no action.

..........but I don't want to talk about it, *sigh*

Woe is me! (dont read if you're not very sympathetic)

Its Friday night and Im at home...alone....AGAIN!
Im so sick of this shit. And there doesnt even seem to be anything I can do about it. I just have to 'wait' until God see's fit to send a man into my life.
Im horny (STILL horny) the so called men in my life arent men because they have no backbone or too much belly for me to contend with so really Im up the creak without a paddle, or up the hornypole without a penis!

Now if I was like some people I could go out there and get my freak on but that would mean abandoning my morals and self respect. How many times have I been told to 'just sleep with him'!! Erm hello, don't I have to WANT to sleep with him first?? Shit if I slept with every guy that fancied me I'd be a walking herpes machine or on the 10 oclock news for the loosest girl in London.
And plus Im not just trying to sleep with someone to uncobweb myself but I actually want a relationship. The thing that most people have and take for granted. What is it about me that means I have to be the eternal singleton??? And what prospects do I have?? Some young fool around the corner that has a belly bigger than mine (Ick!!). He reckons he's mature but still lives at home and is so unreliable. He says he's going to help me...but not until next week!??!?! WTF! And then to put the nail in the coffin, he said "I'd help you even more if I knew I was getting something in return" CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!!! He's supposed to be mature ( he keeps re-itterating this by the way) So as of this friday I havent bothered to entertain him anymore. He would come over here and chill and watch movies etc, but I cant be asked now, he can piss off.

THEN there's one closer to my age who reckons he wants to entertain me...YET HE WONT EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO COME AND GET THE COOCHIE! Now this was his idea in the first place, I'd sooner just stay non-fucking friends but he want/ed to take it to the next level. Pfft! Yeah right Im assuming in his head he wants to get down with me but whenever Ive suggested a time that my son is not around, he's busy or if he decides to come down its too late and the trains are about to stop running! Im just pissed with it all. After watching HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU' Its bloody obvious that that is the case. They have no intentions of doing anything with me but they need some excitement so they will piss about and SAY that they do but dont...phew!
Im so pissed, horny, upset, alone and frustrated that no man activity seems to be going right. Most of my friends are with someone so moaning to them is a no-no. So sorry blogger. I just moaned all over you, lol.

Im going to stuff my face with some chocolate chip ice cream!
Bon nuit.