Wish I wasn't so nice

Evening all.
I sometimes annoy myself. I overthink things WAY too much and just get peeved that I don't have more of a backbone. I wish I could tell people what I really think/feel, and they can't answer me or comment because they are bound with tape (sanctuary garden anyone?) So I figure, I'll do it here and see if it makes me feel better.

BOSS (menopausecow) - You are the most irritating woman I have EVER come across in my life. You are unprofessional, dopey, indecisive, two-faced and hypocritical. Your managing skills are shit! And you have a brain like a seive, filing letters with surname P under A...THE LETTERS ARENT EVEN SIMILIAR YOU PLONK! When you make a mistake its no big deal but you tell us to 'use our noddle' infront of the whole of reception. And then have the audacity to comment on my weight when you STILL have a massive belly after having your last child 24 years ago. You can take this job and shove so far up your jacksy, you'll never sit down again!!!!!

THE SPERM DONOR - I can't even say I regret meeting you because then I wouldnt have THEBOY but you are the biggest waste of space invented. ALL you have to do is call your son once a week and contribute money (not as much as I contribute I'll add) but you can't do it. You actually make me sick when you come on the phone after 3 months of no contact and you try and act sweet.
Throwing all these excuses at me like I'm so half wit bimbo who believes your stories. 'My yard got raided by the police and I've been in custody for 3 weeks', 'Im homeless so thats why I couldnt call' 'my cousins'-great aunts-uncles-sister banged her toe and I couldnt make it' and the overused one 'I got mugged and I lost all my money' while you are standing there wearing fresh Prada loafers.
I don't give a shit if you have a fantastic new girlfriend who can do the splits in bed, JUST CALL YOUR F'ING SON!!!!! You spout all this crap about not getting rid of your seed and you don't even call 'your seed', you don't know what his favourite colour is or how he likes his eggs. Unfortunately he still thinks the sun shines out of your rear but one day (hopefully) he'll see you for the spineless person you are.

SLOW PERSON INFRONT OF ME - You've been standing at the bus stop waiting for this bus for pissing ages and you didn't have your oyster card ready???....MOVE!
Is there are funeral procession ahead in the middle of Tesco??? I have places to go...MOVE!

DB - I love you, I really do. But one thing I can't take is people who don't listen to me and you are one of them. I told you from the get-go that I didn't want to get involved with you if you have to go back home. But you didnt listen to me, hence me now being horny and heartbroken. You persued me because YOU wanted me and what you want is enough (selfish some people call it).
Part of me wants you to leave me alone and never call again so I can meet other people and get my freak on (unlikely) but the biggest part of me wants you to come back and annoy me with your accent and stupid jokes.
I think you're an idiot for leaving England, yes it was cold...get over it. But it has jobs, well more than Trinidad anyway and better nightlife, Fitness First, factory outlets and loads of different places and things to do, plus Im here!(sex on tap dagnammit). But then I think maybe Im not enough for you and thats why you really left.

NAN - This would be so hard cos I love you. But the way you treat me and mum is so wrong. You have 4 children and 8 grandchildren and only 1 daughter helps you. Me and mum do alot for you. The others don't give you the time of day. You expect us to sit with you every evening and weekend to watch Deal or No Deal, not go out and have a life of our own. You want us to bring you cakes and KFC every day (even though you're supposed to be diabetic) You chase us down for things (Pyrex dishes, box of crayons) that you're not going to use anytime soon and you create a mountain out of molehill. Call us and cuss us about silly things, yet you never give the others this shit. The ones who won't and don't do anything for you, don't take you anywhere or call you 3 times a day on the phone.

But I wont say these things, Im scared of repercussions and consequences of what
would happen, so I keep it all inside and bitch and moan like a granny, lol