The Great Depression

Hola!
I haven't updated my blog in a while because my laptop charger went skewiff and stopped charging. I've managed to snag another one from my brothers friend.

I've not wanted to talk or see anyone over the last few weeks. Its been a struggle to get up for work and I don't even open my mail (which is causing problems because I definetly don't know how much I owe now).
I told my GP and he's prescribed me anti depressants. Ive been on them before a few years back when my son was 2 years old. Im a bit hesitant though because one of the side effects is 'suicidal tendancies'!! Hmmm, so a pill that's supposed to make me feel better is going to drive me towards jumping out a window?!?! Clever!

But going through this depression is showing me who my true friends are. Ive noticed people only want me 'jolly' to please and entertain them. When I sent a text to 2 of my friends they didnt seem bothered that I was/am going through something, they were more concerned that I wasnt there to listen to THEM for a whole week! Really made me feel warm and fuzzy inside (!) I dont know if this is part of it, but I just dont want to talk to anyone, yet I feel so lonely. I just want to come home and stare at the floor. The sheer thought of having to talk/listen to someone on the phone just makes my skin crawl. I have Ally Mcbeal visions of me screaming at the top of my voice SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I don't even know why. I just need a time out.
Anywho, I just found this on someones page and it rang home so I thought I'd post it:

O God,
whose love restores
the brokenhearted of this world:
pour out your love,
we beseech you,
upon those who feel
lonely, abandoned, or unloved.
Strengthen their hope
to meet the days ahead;
give them the courage
to form life-giving friendships;
and bless them with the joy
of your eternal peace.
Amen.

Bloody negroes! Yeah I said it!

Wow, how cool. I've managed to set up the email thingy so I can post a blog from me mobi when I'm bored at work lol.

So hmmm whats been going on with me??? Well nothing exciting really...Wait! Come back!
I did get stood up on a date (see that piqued your interest didnt it, tut tut)
As it goes I was chatting to a guy online for a few days and yesterday he wanted to meet. I normally really take my time before meeting guys that Ive been talking to online, I like to message for a while then talk on the phone for 'more while' so I can get a feel of them. This guy, lets call him ACTOR, wanted to meet after 3 days of messaging. We swapped numbers online and he reckons he tried to call (oh yeah we also became friends on Facebook, dont ask).
I didnt have much to do and my plan was to stay in the house and not leave until I had to get THEBOY, but this dude wants us to meet up in Golders Green.
After hearing his voice I was a bit put off (not very manly, softly spoken with a Nottingham accent) and he seemed a bit pushy. (Me - I THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE IT FOR ANOTHER TIME... Him - I DONT THINK SO!!!)

So I get all flustered cos I dont know what to wear, I had to borrow £20 off of my friend so I could get petrol and credit. I drive up to Golders Green (we're supposed to meet for 2pm, eventhough he had an audition for 1pm) scrambling for parking, ended up paying £2, which is alot for someone who doesnt have it - only for him to text me at 2.20pm and say he's still in the audition!!!
Wasted journey! Wasted driving petrol, MAC foundation and perfume! And up until now, more than 24hours later he hasnt rung me.
Can you see why Im losing faith in men and black men at that because those are the ones I date, and the ones Im attracted to, the ones I want to marry. *sad face*

I managed to get 2 dresses for £14 though. And I had ice cream and waffles so that cheered me up a little.

Does it work

Testing testing 123
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????

So Im just browsing through some unknown peoples pictures on Facebook and Im completely baffled. Some people!!! oh, my, gosh!
I'm actually 'writeless'. I cant even think of what to write because of what I've seen.

Tut Tut, smh *sigh*