Bloody Nora!

At work we have been told by the police to not let a man come into see his daughter because he's been raping her!!!

Ok let me go back - I am sitting on reception, rushed off my feet and then I got a five minute break and a plain clothes policeman comes up to me and shows me his badge.
"Im detective Arrestsalot, and we have a young girl in the Amethyst suite who has been repeatedly raped by her father." He said that so nonchalantly that I kind of missed it at first.
"If a Mr ____ comes and demands to see her, can you detain him until we come back out?" Erm do I look like wonderwoman!! By this time Im still stuck on the 'raped' part.

Then all these police come running and standing around, being debriefed on what happens when Mr ____ arrives.

So im sitting on reception and waiting until this nasty bar steward arrives...how long will I get if I kill him???

WooooooooooHooooooo!

Howdy y'all.

I haven't written in ages (serious apologies) but only because Ive been so down and gloomy that I didnt want to depress the page...anymore, lol.

But 2 bits of good news -
I've been offered a Midwifery Assistant job at my hospital!!!! I will be in theatre, aswell as taught to take blood and blood pressure, then I will be sent to college to learn the basics and then put forward to study to become a proper midwife!!!!
It will be shift work aswell (8am - 8pm), 3 days a week and 2 days off.

*Cringe*

Could this week be anymore embarrassing!

This morning I was rushing into work, arms full with several Metros and my gorgeous Faith bag, and I got my morning porridge.
As I rounded the corner and onto the busy corridor my porridge fell out of my hands and splattered all over the floor. So I went back to the canteen and got some paper and a replacement porridge (of course). I fell FACE FIRST into the mess on the floor!!! Then as I'm trying to clear it up, and not look like a fish people are walking past like I'm some tramp on the street (I'll have you know I wasnt dressed like one. I had on heels and a hobble skirt and I looked FRESH).
The porridge had got under my knees so I'm slipping all over the place like a star in a slime competition. All this was being watched by the dry cleaner guy who was holding my bag and Metro's. I'm sure he has a thing for me...well maybe not anymore after seeing me go ass-over-face in porridge.

So I had managed to clean it all up but it was all over my legs and down the front of my River Island mac. I even think I got some on my forehead.
Just my luck - A stuck tampon that had to be taken out by a work colleague up in A&E and falling over in porridge in front of 23-30 people....Nice!
They say it comes in 3's, so I think I'm going to stay home tomorrow, lol

Shame!

Long time!! How's it going??...Good. Sorry I haven't written in awhile, you know how it is

I don't get embarrassed easily. I will readily tell people about my boring existence and all the stuff that goes on with me (hence this blog, hehehe). But today took the biscuit.
I had to go to A&E today. Not because I was stabbed or electrocuted or had a bad reaction to mango but because...MY TAMPON BROKE IN HALF AND WAS STUCK...UP THERE!!!
Remember I work in a hospital and know most of the staff so I pray to God that I NEVER see the nurse who had to poke around down there, lol. Poor thing. Even I didnt want to touch it and its mine.
I kept saying 'sorry' and she kept saying 'oh don't worry, this happens all the time'.
Erm I'm thinking 'To you or to other women?? Do other women have their bosses outside the door telling you to hurry up and the bloody useless Tampax Tampon breaks in half???' Is there a support group for that, jeez!
I just hope she managed to get it all out. (apologies to anyone who is eating right now).


On a better note though, I may be getting a clapped out Fiesta off of my friends husband. Speed cameras - Here I Come!!