Trying not to get excited...

OMG! I've just done a test and I'm pregnant!!! Very early days, I've not told ANYBODY! And its hard. I hate keeping secrets/gossip. I haven't even told my boyfriend or mum . After losing my baby back in December I don't want to risk it nor do I want to get excited and get ahead of myself. I'm still getting cramps so I'm expecting to see blood when I go to the loo (sorry) so I'm worried. I'll just wait it out and see. For now tho, I just have to keep it all inside, until it kicks....or I go into labour lol.

The L word

Wow! Even at 30 years of ages (yes it was my birthday on the 24th March) I still don't know when it's the right time to say it. It meaning LOVE! I LOVE YOU. It shouldn't be such a big thing but it is. I don't want to say it and he doesn't feel the same, eventhough IT FEELS like he feels the same way, but you never know with men do ya.

Its come up alot in recent conversation. Love is blind, thats what I love about you, love me love my poo (long story) but how am I to know if he's serious or if he's just joking.
In my last relationship I said it because it was true and because I was certain that he was going to say it back but he didn't! Like a lead balloon I felt foolish and cried once he went home. I dread for this to happen now. When we're together just chillin out and being silly and recently, after sex, it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him how much he means to be me and how I love him for making me happy, but in the back of my mind I think I better keep it to myself...just a little longer...or until he says it first. And then I'll reply even louder I LOVE YOU TOO!!