The Great Depression

Hola!
I haven't updated my blog in a while because my laptop charger went skewiff and stopped charging. I've managed to snag another one from my brothers friend.

I've not wanted to talk or see anyone over the last few weeks. Its been a struggle to get up for work and I don't even open my mail (which is causing problems because I definetly don't know how much I owe now).
I told my GP and he's prescribed me anti depressants. Ive been on them before a few years back when my son was 2 years old. Im a bit hesitant though because one of the side effects is 'suicidal tendancies'!! Hmmm, so a pill that's supposed to make me feel better is going to drive me towards jumping out a window?!?! Clever!

But going through this depression is showing me who my true friends are. Ive noticed people only want me 'jolly' to please and entertain them. When I sent a text to 2 of my friends they didnt seem bothered that I was/am going through something, they were more concerned that I wasnt there to listen to THEM for a whole week! Really made me feel warm and fuzzy inside (!) I dont know if this is part of it, but I just dont want to talk to anyone, yet I feel so lonely. I just want to come home and stare at the floor. The sheer thought of having to talk/listen to someone on the phone just makes my skin crawl. I have Ally Mcbeal visions of me screaming at the top of my voice SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I don't even know why. I just need a time out.
Anywho, I just found this on someones page and it rang home so I thought I'd post it:

O God,
whose love restores
the brokenhearted of this world:
pour out your love,
we beseech you,
upon those who feel
lonely, abandoned, or unloved.
Strengthen their hope
to meet the days ahead;
give them the courage
to form life-giving friendships;
and bless them with the joy
of your eternal peace.
Amen.